Certainly our five children are entitled to a sustainable and more measured minimum provision of Poptarts, AppleCinnamonCheerios, Skittles, Cheetos, and Twix Bars.
I know they are entitled to this because they tell me so.
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Observing them in their natural habitat instills fear.
The deprivation they face on the regular leads to risk. They are in danger of extinction and have resorted to hiding, rationing, all varieties of dishonesty, and malfeasance.
It opens up the age-old-question. (You know the one.)
What is the minimum standard obligation for the universe and the parental unit to provide their dependents with a bilateral investment in their felt and real need for junk-food?
What approach is best? The Modern approach? The Non-Contingent approach? The Delayed Gratification Model? The Less is More wisdom of the ages?
HOW DO WE NAVIGATE THIS???
They are basically participants in a dystopian survival game and it appears that they will ultimately battle to the bitter end over candy and breakfast cereal.
These kids need help. An intervention. Something.
Say for example, a friend visits and brings in a box of Apple Jacks. The next morning, a kitchen that routinely does not have a single visitor until 7am, is suddenly transformed into a high-traffic zone with three of five children up at 6am to get their hands on the best choice for breakfast.
When the fourth kid arrives the accusing begins. "WHAT? You had three bowls of Apple Jacks? That was for all of us!!!!"
Then the defense presents a case: "I got up at six. You slept. You know the rules. The early bird gets the cereal." After that there is general disgust displayed through jerky-angry movements to get the spoon and bowl out along with the use of heavy sighing over the bowl of dull and sugar free Haiti corn flakes.
Dokte Jen showed up with cereal and several bags of candy the other day. Every kid grabbed a bag and ran away to bury it in the yard or shove it inside of a hollowed out book for safe keeping. It caused a stir because Lydia arrived and grabbed first. The others quickly made a claim on their bag. They were behaving like animals afraid of starvation.
At this stage of my life, I'm right on the edge of snapping at all times - sometimes I just do a little theatrical fake snap to practice for the day the BIG one finally comes.
"THAT IS IT YOU GUYS", I yelled.
"THIS IS COMMUNITY CANDY."
We made a plan to combine and share all of Jen's candy. This way everyone could sample a variety of options. I suggested four (they are small) pieces per day per child - until it was gone or until a new edict was issued.
We placed the bowl on top of the refrigerator.
A few children grumbled that it wouldn't work out fairly. I heard those complaints - - and promptly ignored them.
Foolish. That is what I am.
The next day Troy provided me with jarring video.
Prior to 7:30am the world's premier most Twix enthusiast, KitKat connoisseur, and chocolate aficionado had taken three quick hits from the chocolate bowl. In total far more than the four piece allotment was consumed. No breakfast on that particular morning, just sugar hits.
That night I said, "Lydia, would you ever have candy for breakfast?"
She seemed bewildered.
Isaac created a new verb a while back. He says when I get sick of seeing him wear and re-wear the same t-shirt too often that I "disappear it". He recently told Jen, "That shirt you gave me, she disappeared it."
It turns out that Lydia disappeared the candy. Video footage don't lie.
Going forward we have no solution except maybe to place her in restraints during the hours we cannot watch the candy.
We are trying to sober her up and working on some sort of accountability partner for her. We are wondering how we can be a big family that is not freaky weird about treats and the distribution of said treats.
Once that critically important task is taken care of we hope we will be ready to present our 11th Annual Livesay Christmas Extravaganza.
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This year we ran into a bit of trouble when it suddenly became obvious that we don't have enough hours in a day to finish the video as early in the month as in all past years.
Until the 11th offering, we would like to point you back to the past 10 years, available at our YouTube Channel.
We recently got to see the Baby Jesus from 2016, he is one year old now and doing well.
Last year ...